Parent Sideline Series: Calming Strategies for Anxious Young Athletes

Watching your child step onto the field or court with a nervous smile can tug at your heartstrings. It’s totally normal for young athletes to feel anxious—big games, unfamiliar opponents, and high expectations can easily shake their confidence. As a parent, you may find yourself wondering: “How can I help without adding more pressure?”

Good news—it’s not as complicated as it seems. By understanding what’s really going on and using a few simple techniques, you can be a steady, calming influence for your child during those high-stress moments.

Understanding Sports Anxiety in Kids

Before we tackle the solutions, let’s look at what anxiety in young athletes actually looks like. It can show up in different ways, such as:

• Stomachaches or headaches before practices or games
• Trouble sleeping the night before a competition
• Irritability, tears, or sudden silence
• Overthinking plays or fearing mistakes

This kind of anxiety doesn’t mean your child “isn’t cut out” for sports. It means they care—and that’s a good thing. The key is helping them channel those nerves into confidence.

Why Kids Get Nervous Before Games

Think back to the last time you had to give a big presentation or handle a tricky meeting. That fluttery feeling in your stomach? Kids feel the same before a game. The pressure to perform, not let the team down, or win approval from coaches and parents can keep their minds racing. Even the sidelines can feel intense when well-meaning adults shout instructions or critiques.

The solution? Create an environment where mistakes are okay, effort is praised, and joy comes first. Let’s explore how.

8 Game-Changing Ways to Calm Your Anxious Athlete

1. Validate Their Feelings

When your child says they’re nervous, resist the urge to say, “You’ll be fine.” Instead, try something like:

“I get it. I used to feel nervous before school plays too. What part’s making you most nervous?”

By showing empathy, you help them feel safe and understood—which is the first step toward calming down.

2. Emphasize the Effort, Not the Outcome

Shift the focus from winning or performing perfectly to giving their best. Praise things like:

• Hard work in practice
• Trying something new
• Being a good teammate

When kids know they’re valued for more than just results, their fear of failure fades.

3. Teach Deep Breathing (Yes, Really!)

It may sound too simple to be effective, but deep breathing works wonders. Teach your athlete to take a slow breath in through the nose for four counts, hold it for four, and breathe out through the mouth for four. Try it with them before a game. When the body relaxes, the mind follows.

4. Create a Pre-Game “Calm Down” Routine

Just like athletes warm up their muscles, they can prep their minds. A routine might include:

• Listening to a favorite song
• Positive self-talk (like “I’m ready” or “I’ve practiced for this”)
• A quiet moment alone or a pep talk with you

This routine becomes a mental anchor, helping your child shift into game mode calmly and confidently.

5. Model Calm Behavior on the Sidelines

Kids often mirror the emotional energy of the adults around them. If you’re shouting, pacing, or showing frustration, they may soak all that tension right up.

Instead, stay cool. Cheer positively, avoid coaching from the sidelines, and show that it’s okay to win—or lose—gracefully.

6. Help Them Visualize Success

Encourage your child to mentally picture themselves doing well—passing the ball, making a catch, or playing with confidence. This mental imagery primes their brain and reduces the “what if I mess up?” spiral.

7. Focus on the Fun of the Game

Ask your child what they enjoy most about their sport. Remind them that it’s not about being perfect—sports are about growing, learning, and having fun with friends.

This shift in perspective can change everything.

8. Don’t Dwell on Mistakes

After the game, avoid rehashing every error. Instead, ask:

“What do you feel good about today?” or “What’s one thing you want to work on next time?”

Your role isn’t to critique—it’s to support. Save the technical talk for the coaches. You just be the safe space your child needs.

In Real Life: A Sideline Mom’s Story

I’ll never forget the first time my daughter froze up before her soccer game. She was quiet, wouldn’t eat, and confessed she was scared of messing up. I wanted to pep-talk her out of it—but instead, I just sat with her, held her hand, and said, “It’s okay to feel nervous. That means you care. Just go out and play your game.”

Did she score a goal? Nope. Did she smile after the game and ask for ice cream? Absolutely.

That’s a win in my book.

Takeaways Every Parent Should Remember

The journey of youth sports should be about growth, joy, and teamwork—not pressure. By staying calm, being present, and helping your child manage anxiety in a healthy way, you’re giving them tools that go well beyond the game.

So next time your child’s stomach is full of butterflies, just remember:

• Your calm becomes their calm.
• Effort matters more than outcome.
• Every kid deserves to play with joy, not fear.

Support Tools for Youth Sports Parents

If you’re looking for more help, here are some great resources for parents, coaches, and team moms:

For all first-time or rookie coaches, grab your Voluntold Toolkit here.

For all you youth sports parents who are the TRUE weekend warriors, grab your Weekend Warriors Toolkit here.

If you’re interested in youth sports mental performance coaching with a certified mindset coach, check it out here.

For all you TEAM MOMS who are the glue of the team, grab your Team Mom Playbook & Toolkit here.

Final Thoughts

Sports anxiety in kids is more common than we think—but with love, patience, and the right strategies, you can help your young athlete not just cope, but shine.

Your most important job? Be their rock. Win or lose, nervous or calm, they just need you in their corner.

Got a calming technique that works wonders? Share it in the comments—we’re all in this sideline squad together!